the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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