He asked to "fluff my boner.."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Alive.
So much puke
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
