so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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