: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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