So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
