I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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