Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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