so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Randomize
