Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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