Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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