things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
