dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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