just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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