using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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