My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
