flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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