My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
