i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
