It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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