somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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