you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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