Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
