Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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