White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
