I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
