happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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