Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
