my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize