I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
