Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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