please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize