My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
