I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
