well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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