is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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