Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
