im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
