That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
