I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
