Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
