Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
