I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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