are you still at the devil's house?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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