Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
