8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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