I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
