She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He felt like a one man threesome
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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