i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
