i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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