babies were throwing up all over the place
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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