I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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