i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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