tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
