Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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