i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
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well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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