I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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