Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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