you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
