Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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