Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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