just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize