Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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