just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
A+ Viking dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
