We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
