Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
