At least make sure they are 18
Why
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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